We had the good fortune of connecting with Laura Grizzlypaws and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Laura, where are your from? We’d love to hear about how your background has played a role in who you are today?
I am from the St’at’imc nation. A small tribe within the central interior of British Columbia. Known as the Salishian People. The community I am from is Xwisten (Bear Clan Community) we are known as the smiling people, My background is truly I believe what has shaped or contributed to my current identity as an Indigenous woman. I was born and raised in Lillooet BC, However, I am a daughter of survivor of the Indian Residential School. I spent a great early years of my life with my grand parents, harvesting, working the garden, our on the land and down the fishing rocks. However, when my Kwekwa7 (grandmother) passed away, my life transitioned to a cycle of neglect and abuse. I was re-homed and placed into the care of the ministry. A home that was unsafe, and did not provide adequate protection and care for my well-being. Thus, this is what led to mental, physical, spiritual, emotional abuse of all kinds, from verbal, sexual, and spiritual abuse primarily in the home and community. These events triggered emotions, feeling, and hardships of anger, resentment, trust issues and jealousy of other homes and families that were stable, safe and secure. I did not have role models in my life that I aspired to, I struggled in school, academics, and ended up in prison. I had people in my life that I never wanted to become. I made a commitment to better myself and to do the complete opposite of what I endured as a child. I had people that didnt believe in me, care for me or provide the love and protection that I needed to be a good human being. As I began my healing journey leaving prison, and when my Spapza7 (Grandfather) passed away while in prison. I re-remembered the basic core principles and values he and my Kwekwa7 shared with me. The tmicw (land), ucwalmicw (how to help one another as people of the land), and ucwalmicwts (through the language). I recalled telling my Kwekwa7 “I want to be just like you”. Kwekwa7 had a strong gentle frame, hard working, self-motivated, storyteller, and resilient. When I began my healing journey and reconciled my past, my childhood, my trauma’s, I tuned back into education, to obtain my dogwood diploma and to seek traditional knowledge systems and support to become a better ucwalmicw to learn the ways of the tmicw, and to learn to speak ucwalmicwts. To succeed in education, but also to succeed in balance through traditional knowledge systems. I have to say this as well, when I struggled in school, I was kicked out in grade 8, and kicked out from the Community Learning centre for struggling with my academics. I returned back to the same Community Learning Centre demanding access to my education. As I clearly stated to the instructor “I need help, I do not understand this question”. The instructor responded, “Look on the computer, do the unit over again if you don’t understand”. I repeated the unit, failed again and again. I asked for help again, and was neglected. The last time I asked, he refused to come to the table to help or guide me through my struggles. I threw the book, the table, to the side, and stormed out of the building and he told me never to return back again.